I was sat at home with my girlfriend and daughter the other night minding our own business. It was dark out, it was cold too, well it is mid October… Mid October, not the 31st, Mid!!! And I hear a rapping at the front door.
“Who the fuck is that” I eloquently said.
“It’s not late, put down the snooker cue extension” said the missus, she’s a spoil sport sometimes! So I answer the door armed only with my Molineux pyjamas and brown George of Asda Slippers, they used to be blue, I have no idea before you ask!
Stood before me and I kid you not are five youths in full hoody gear, faces hidden, hands in pockets, four of them cowering behind the brave leader hoody who says, “Trick or treat?”
You can imagine the plethora of replies that flew through my mind, “Trick but if it’s a rabbit out of a hat you owe me fifty quid,” or “Treat! I get to rape all five of you!” but of course, as they now know where I live & they may have their hands on knives, or eggs, or both, I decided to just say, “Sorry guys, I don’t go in for all that.”
They didn’t look at me twice they turned and scampered away before I had chance to close the door. They weren’t trying to be scary, but they probably wanted money not sweets, but debating with me was clearly time badly spent when they could spend it confusing the old people in my street and therefore gaining access to their homes for cash or food or both! But in all seriousness they knocked on a few more doors, got told to do one and left without a fuss.
When I was a kid trick or treaters dressed up in Halloween costumes, went out with mum and dad and expected sweets cus tricks weren’t ever on the agenda. Oh yeah and they were aged about seven or eight, not fifteen. Grow the fuck up lads, get yourself home, mommy will have some chicken dippers and chips in for ya!
Hoody scum!
You make me laugh! I live in a court of 18 residences and i let Emma trick or treat them. Then there’s Roy down the rd and family. I ask them all in advance if it’s ok. She dresses up and toddles off to stock up on sugary goodness! I buy a multi pack of those little haribo sweets and some mini chocs. It’s all very good natured around here and it’s just for one night. It’s the carol singers that are a pain because they start coming round in November!
That sounds like the way we used to do it as kids. Just having gangs of lads knocking on doors is a bit scary. I know old people who would crap themselves all night if they heard a knock at the door at 9pm. It’s just silly of them to behave in such a way. I hate it.