The fat lady has cleared her throat and is waiting for the curtain, but she’s not started singing yet.

I’m giving up on my end of season predictions because frankly I think Wolves might have lost their bottle in the relegation fight with four games to go. Yes I know we aren’t out of touch with teams around us but with injuries to players like Doyle and Elokobi we have seen the team start to crack and fall apart. The 4-5-1 system that has seen us get some great results this season has crumbled, especially without Doyle. With two local derbies out of the four remaining games it’s difficult to see us picking up the six or seven points that we need. I’d say we need to beat both Sunderland and Blackburn to stand any chance cus the Blues and Albion games will be very difficult. Albion are playing well and Blues are league cup winners determined to play in Europe next season and the Premiership.

It doesn’t matter what I’d previously predicted anyway, it was just a bit of wild optimism by a foolish fan and of course trying to guess ten games into the future is very difficult, trying to guess what will happen each game is more than hard enough.

There have been calls for Mick McCarthy to go and go now! A few morons were phoning BBC Radio WM after the Stoke hammering and demanding this. Why? What would that achieve? Who would take over for four games? Who would we look to replace him with? Come on people, its too late for any changes. It’s Mick until the end of the season and probably beyond that too. We need to remember what a great job he has done for us over five years. Remember his first full season? He spent fuck all and we managed a play off place. OK we lost to the Albion that time but he’d made a point. Taking us up made another point and keeping us up last season was yet another point made. It’s just a shame that we haven’t been able to continue building on that gradual success.

Time will inevitably tell on the future of the club. I hope we can stay up so we can keep our best players and strengthen our position properly. Relegation doesn’t bare thinking about even at this late stage in the season. It’s not over yet… although I fear it will be soon. But miracles have happened before and maybe there will be a couple more twists and turns before this crazy season is over. Remember we’ve taken one point out of the last four games and we’re still only a point from safety. COME ON WOLVES.

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Atheism isn’t funny….. but God’s hilarious.

Stand up comedy about religion and atheism, these clips still make me smile even after hundreds of views, check them out if you are confused about religion and need to realise it’s all bollocks.

Dave Allen

Billy Connolly

George Carlin

Bill Hicks

Stewart Lee

Jim Jeffries

Ricky Gervais

My End of Season Run-In Predictions: Number 4

I wrote these predictions on the tenth of March and back then they seemed laudable. But not so much now. Here is what I said about the Fulham game at home:

Fulham home – Like Wolves they (so far) have only one win on the road. They are hard to beat though too being the draw experts on their travels. But I fancy a rout here and we can stick three or four past them at Molineux. 3 POINTS

Part of me still agrees with this. I mean we should really have stuck at least two past them at home and really should have gotten all three points, because we should be fighting like bastards at home. The game was pretty poor overall. Essentially we took a very defensive approach, during the game (especially the second half) I had to ask myself who were the home side. Milijas struggled and replacing him with a defensive midfielder (who is essentially a centre half in my opinion) Michael Mancienne in the fifty ninth minute was a slow decision by Mick, he really should have taken him off at half time. Taking Fletcher off for Sylvain Ebanks Blake was another ropey substitution. Fletcher is a big, tall lad with strength. Ebanks-Blake is easily knocked off the ball. He’s pacey and can finish if given half a chance but I dunno what more we could have expected from him that we weren’t already getting from Fletcher. Taking off Guedioura and replacing him with Michael Kightly seemed like too little too late with only five minutes left. I rate Kightly highly but we needed him on sooner, but to be fair I don’t think Guedioura did a lot wrong and was probably a bit knackered. Zamora and Johnson made a big difference for them up front with old slap–head Johnson scoring within moments of coming on to the pitch.

1 point is better than none and looking at other results the league table has stayed pretty much as it was before Saturdays matches… and of course we have our game in hand away at Stoke on Tuesday night. We can do better, we must do better… COME ON WOLVES.

My best wishes.

I’ve got a friend who’s worried about his health at the moment. It could be serious, but I hope not. He’s a good bloke, he might think he’s a rebel and a hard case but really he’s a puppy dog with a heart of gold. This is now sounding gay, it’s not. I just want him to know that a lot more people than he thinks are thinking about him and wishing him well. Five years ago I didn’t know who he was but today if I could I’d give him the peace of mind he needs. I can’t do that, but I want him to know he’s a good guy, he’s made a difference, he’s an intellectual, a very, very funny bloke, a raconteur, an engaging story-teller and most of all he’s great at doing stuff at work that means I get an easy ride sometimes, he listens to the bullshit, absorbs the nonsense and keeps the troops sane. He’s a one in a million… unless the million are all hippies then he’s just another hippy.  I won’t get slushy, he’d expect nothing else, but I wanna wish him all the best.

ALL MY BEST WISHES MUCKER.

The Royal Wedding.

On Youtube the royal wedding has sparked talk about why we even have a monarchy at all. First of all any Americans out there with an opinion on this issue – it’s not your debate. You gave up your right to comment on the British ruling classes when you had your war of independence. Please take your opinions and shove them where your foreign policy is born, your assholes. No one in Britain cares.

OK, so we’ve established I’m pro-monarchy. Why? You might ask. Well despite my socialist heart I believe that the monarchy saves us… saves us from another tier of government that the British public can do without. I can’t think of anything worse than getting rid of the royal family and then replacing them with more elections, more party political nonsense and Gordon Bennett help us – President Letwin. OH THE HORROR!

At the moment we are currently in a debate about what system of voting we should have, we can’t even decide what method is best to elect people to power, let alone who to elect when we decide whether they can be first past the post or the person finishing third who might have been lucky enough to be the second choice of people too scared to vote directly for them in the first place. (Yes I fear marginal parties getting seats under AV). We don’t need to elect our sovereign and we certainly don’t need Menzies Campbell’s face on the 10 pence coin.

I won’t watch the royal wedding. I don’t care that much to invest valuable hours off work in it; I’d rather spend that time drunk, eating, fucking or just asleep. Actually all four at some stage on the day would be just fine. But like all royal weddings since the start of time it’s just another “getting the job done” situation so we can have some more heirs in the bloodline for the future of the monarchy. Finding a good mate for William is no different to cross breeding a dog with a quality bitch to make its pedigree better. It’s just going through the motions. No one really cares.

If you are having a street party, buying cups and plates with their faces on or are planning a day in front of the TV, you’re an idiot. They will become another over-privileged Royal couple easy to smite and mock and they’ll make headlines (good at first and then slowly getting more cynical as even the press tire of them) but remember they are signing away the rest of their lives to the country and the media and it only stops for them when they die.

We can turn it off at any time, or not tune in, in the first place.

As human beings I wish them a good and happy life together.

Can Asda explain something to me…?

This is just an open blog post to Asda supermarkets, feel free to reply Asda big-wig types. I’m a regular user of about four of your stores in Darlaston, Wolverhampton, Great Bridge and Tipton and I’m beginning to notice something of a trend. Citing health and safety you do not allow your staff to have bottled water at the tills as they work. I understand that sitting at a till passing produce over a scanner isn’t hard graft but what is wrong with letting staff have a drink of water now and then? It would appear that you consider it a risk to have water next to a console that is electronic. OK I suppose that kinda makes sense. But hang on… if a staff member has a note from their doctor they can have the water at their workstation.

So my question to you is simply this: Is having water at a till dangerous? If it is then having a doctors note is irrelevant as the water is still near the device it might spill onto. Surely members of staff who have conditions that require them access to drinking water shouldn’t be put on the tills to work OR you could just allow them a bottle of water. This seems to me to be a pedantic and petty rule to enforce on people who are (let’s face it) poorly paid. I mean you encourage your staff to take on sales roles and enhance your turnover and profits and yet where is the sales bonus or commission? Oh yeah that’s right, it’s in the pockets of the people sat up on high making silly rules such as “You can’t drink water at your workstation or till” Come on Asda. Is this acceptable practise, I mean really?

Maybe you could make it part of the interview process. You could ask someone if they know how to put the top back on to a bottle of water and have them demonstrate it. If they can – GREAT! They get a job and access to water, if they can’t let them shuffle along to Aldi or wherever they go after you toss them aside like a used tissue.

Dogs and cats and livestock have to have access to clean drinking water at all times. You can leave an animal for short periods of time without food but not water. If you leave an animal, say a horse, tethered to a fence without access to clean drinking water the RSPCA would prosecute you for cruelty. But if that horse is tethered to a customer services desk at Asda wearing a green and white “Happy to Help” badge he can be starved of fluids, unless he has a note from James Herriot.

I don’t expect a response from Asda, why would you reply to me? But I think your rules on this are disgusting. There are laws on drinking water in the workplace that have to be adhered to or you can get branch locations shut down or even have staff leave with a constructive dismissal. Wake up Asda.