Video Killed My Unconscious Minds Taste In Music.

I found out recently that I subconsciously watch too much music television, and not good music telly like Kerrang, I mean trash, pop pumping, drivel music telly. I was surprised (to say the least) to recently catch myself watching a Cher Lloyd video on Smash Hits, I don’t know what the song was called but here is a still from the video:

When I saw it I did a double take, and I actually thought to myself, ‘Where have I seen that place before?’

I mean what the fuck? Where would I have seen it and more to the point why would I remember it? Surely it’s a film set of some description. But after a few seconds of pondering I thought, “Fuck you, by Cee Lo Green!” I don’t know why I thought that but I raced over to youtube to watch both videos (yeah that’s right, I searched youtube for Cher Lloyd!!!! Shoot me now!) and there it was, the same place, they were both in the same place singing their songs:

I felt dirty, very dirty. Sick too and a little angry with myself. I have since stopped listening to music telly. But it goes to show how TV permeates your head when you have no idea that it is. Now excuse me I’ve gotta go and download One Directions Album, watch X Factor and talk about how Simon Cowell isn’t a bad influence on the British music industry in a very defensive way….. hang on! I’ve lost my freewill to choose the music I wanna hear. I’m just another brain dead music simpleton buying into any old load of bollocks, damn you music television!

Damn you all the way to hell music telly, and fuck you too!



How to root a Samsung Galaxy Ace S5830 running Android Gingerbread 2.3.3.

When ever I find myself in a pickle, then I get out of it, I enjoy sharing the solution. This blog post is one of those blog posts. So unless you want to root your Samsung S5830 you might want to move along about now. (Remember all links I offer are correct and safe at the time I published this post, they may change. Please remember to run your antivirus on any downloads before opening them on your computer, just to be safe. I cannot be held responsible for the content of external sites.)

Yes I recently had a problem with moving contents from my phone to my SD card and the phone was getting so full I could no longer update my apps so I looked around online and found lots of information that explains how to root your phone so you can move objects around that you aren’t supposed to.

Now please be aware that rooting your phone will invalidate its guarantee but if its over twelve months old you’ll be fine as the guarantee is probably over anyway. But check and be careful before messing about with your phones operating system.

OK the phone that I rooted is a Samsung Galaxy Ace S5830 running Android Gingerbread 2.3.3 and that what I’m explaining here. It may not work on every single Galaxy Ace model, please check your operating system before proceeding with the rest of this instructional.

Now first of all you will need this: Install manager. This is the programme that you will use to move contents from your phone to SD card after rooting. You can use other programs if you prefer, this is the one that I used.

Then you need to download the root zip file that you will need to put onto your phones SD card. That file can be found here. (It would appear the file needed has been taken down, so I can only suggest Googling “galaxy ace root zip file” and seeing if you can find a copy elsewhere. I cannot find the file on my phone or my PC to share it here.)

Now follow the instructions below. They were originally published here and I have no copyright over them at all and they worked perfectly for me. Remember the instructions will only root your phone you will need to still run the install manager afterwards to manually move your apps from phone to SD card. Some items cannot be moved (please see the update at the end of this post) but the programme will tell you if it can safely move any objects. If it says it can’t you shouldn’t try. OK, all the best and enjoy!


1. Copy the file onto your sd card. You can even put it in a folder if you want.

2. Turn your phone off

3. Boot your phone into recovery mode. To do that, HOLD HOME+POWER buttons. When the screen turns on and you see the Samsung logo, let go of POWER but keep holding HOME. After the Galaxy Ace logo shows up and disappears, you should enter recovery mode. You can let go of HOME now.

4. Now in recovery mode, you can scroll up and down using the VOLUME UP and VOLUME DOWN buttons and select using the HOME button.

5. Scroll to the second option “apply update from sdcard” and press HOME to select.

6. Scroll to the file and select it (if you put it in a folder, find and open that folder and then select

7. After its done installing, select “reboot system now” and wait for the phone to reboot

UPDATE: 30 December 2012 – When you have rooted your phone you may find that some applications still cannot be moved from your phone to your SD card. I have found that the simplest way to solve this problem is to uninstall the app and then re-install it. Upon re-install the Install Manager will automatically put the item onto your SD card. This should in most cases rectify problems relating to unmovable apps.

Peace! 🙂

What kind of being is God?

I wonder, if God exists what kind of being he may be. I’m told by people who are apparently more in the know than I am that he is all knowing and all loving and is ever so proud of his creation that is Earth and Man, he is even more proud of his free-will and his heaven and hell options too. Even though people forget the free will option he gave us when he was doing all of his old testament shit like pestilence and famine. Thanks for that God.

It seems to me God invented us so he could sit back and enjoy daily dilemmas from all of us human beings. Why did he create us? What was the big purpose of it? Why did he make us different colours? Why did he give some people different ideas on who he was and what they should write about him and then let them argue over which book based on him was the best? Why does he allow us to form religions that differ and argue and fight and people die? Why does he allow terrible things to happen in the name of him by various groups that have different interpretations of him?

Why does he allow us to have nations? Why are the borders of his land cut up into sections by fallible mankind for people to live in and fight over? Why did he give some of us the capability to question him and his apparent teachings? Why did he create dinosaurs and why does he allow some of us to believe that dinosaurs existed and then others to believe that he put the bones their just to test the faith of people? Why did he create the world in 6 days and then have a day off? Why didn’t he create the world in a nanosecond, after all he is God? Why does he allow children to die from illnesses that occur genetically, why did he create DNA that allows a person to be half mom and half dad and sometimes a bit more of one than another? Why didn’t he create a simple outcome from sex where girls are just one thing and boys another? Why does he allow genetic diversity that can be good or bad based on the randomness of people meeting and procreating? Why do viruses and bacteria exist and cause good people suffering and death? Why create viruses and bacteria to kill your perfect creation – man, at all?

Why create a universe so vast and then put all of your creation on a spec of dust so insignificant it barely registers as an atom in your cosmos? Why create some stars that are half the size of the Sun and then others that are so much bigger than the sun that the sun itself becomes an insignificant spec by comparison? What does that prove or achieve?

Why are some people born into a life of poverty and struggle and why are some people born into ridiculous opulence? Why create mind altering substances? Surely creation is so good because it’s Gods it needs no weed or acid? Why allow your mankind to go to the moon, you never talk about the moon in the bible as a place for humankind, so why can we go there when we try to? Why Ten Commandments? Why not nine or eleven? Why ban sex with your neighbours’ ox but let Catholic priests rape alter boys with impunity? Why can human beings symbolically drink your blood and eat your flesh but they cannot marry someone of the same sex? Why are some Nazi war criminals still alive, even today, and yet John Lennon, Martin Luther King, JFK et al are dead? Why God? What is your point? I’m not getting it, not at all. What is the point in you God, what is the point? Why are we suffering, arguing and dying for what you are. And what are you again? Are you a deity, all powerful and magnificent? Or are you just a remnant of when we, mankind, had no hope and nothing to look forward too? God you’re like a ZX81, obsolete. You did a job back in the day but sadly for you, you’ve become old – a reminiscent thought. You’ve been replaced with reason and sense and hope, yes bigger and better things.

Mankind invented you God, to do a job when we lived in straw huts and feared the unknown, toothy monsters that lived in the jungle. You offered us something back then but now you’re no longer needed. With time everyone will realise that.

And I know that some people will say, ‘you shouldn’t question God!’ They are right, because when you do he looks very flimsy indeed. A day in court with Judge Judy and God would be embarrassing to say the least.

Keep the faith though aye…?


NaNoWriMo 2012

It’s the wrong time of the year. Write a book when you need to be Christmas shopping, it’s mental. It adds extra stress to the whole process which itself is tough enough. I speak from experience. I’ve taken part twice in 2010 when I failed and 2011 when I succeeded. It’s tough to find time to write every day if you have a life and a job. But if you have neither of those things, knock yourself out and crack on. Good luck to you.

It seems like five minutes since I was scraping around the wee small hours trying to write just another two hundred words. But we are here again. I’m not taking part this year, I just don’t have the time… or put another way, last year taught me that you have to sacrifice too much to get it done. You have to wind up everyone by talking about it but its so hard to do without sharing it. People don’t give a fuck that you are writing a book in a month, they humour you and pretend to care, then they scamper off to their hidey holes to laugh with other small minded, artless, uncreative bell ends at your expense. That’s OK, we can’t all be writers.

Writing a first draft of 50k words in a month might seem silly to you, impossible even but it really isn’t. If you have the right characters and the right starting point the world that you have created is your oyster and only becoming jaded, bored or just busy can stop you fulfilling this tough project.

I dunno anyone who’s doing it this year, but if you are, good luck to you. You can do it, with the right approach it’s straightforward, almost easy.

But I say that knowing I’m not going to be down there with you this November, down in the pit of writers block and self doubt. I was there last year, it can at times be a dark and lonely place.


And peace!

You know what… I’m f*cking sick of a few things….

I’m sick and tired these last few weeks of hearing about Jimmy Savile. He was clearly a dirty, paedo, cunt, bastard. But he’s dead. So let’s accept that when he was alive he did some nasty shit and then he died and now we know all about it but we can do fuck all about it too. Sorry if he fucked you underage, raped you, fingered you or did what ever to you in the back of his rape Land Rover. It’s terrible, but we’ve gotta start talking about other shit soon because this kinda daily news is toxic and people start to give less of a fuck when all they hear is the same crap…. Hence this rant! WE GET IT, HE WAS A DIRTY MUTHA FUCKER! All of these people coming out of the wood work to say they knew about it should have spoken up sooner so the victims could’ve had some justice. Because I know if I’d have been raped and was in fear of speaking out but someone else knew; I’d want them to back me up and maybe speak up sooner. Not wait until the rapist had been given a Knighthood and a Christian burial – fuck you all!

You know what else I’m sick of? America. America thinks that it can wave its magic wand of American justice and get what it wants. Well it can’t. As I write this the ‘home of the free and land of the brave’ you know the free people who have two politicians to vote for as president in a country of 300m (not a single other party representing you at any significant level… WTF? Iraq has about fifty political parties and less than a tenth the population, don’t you think that weird America?) and the land of the brave who have dragged many European countries into their wars in the last ten years to fight and die for fuck all, oh apart from fighting the fight that America the brave should’ve been fighting, that land of the free and the brave!!!! – Yes that America has been trying for the best part of a decade to extradite a man who sat in his bedroom and hacked American computers to try and find out about the existence of Aliens and UFO’s. My only question is; if America is so big and brave why did you get hacked by a man with a mental illness who was wearing PJ’s and slippers at the time he committed said crimes? The man in question is Gary McKinnon and he has aspergers syndrome – what that means is he has the intelligence of a genius (compared to your average American he’s Jesus, God, Einstein and Stephen Hawking all rolled into one) and also is innocent enough to have not committed any crime with malice aforethought, he just did something stupid, something he should not have done, but still the yanks want him because he was foolish to commit a two weeks in prison slap of the hand crime before 9-11, after 9-11, where he would have gotten 60 years in prison as a terrorist and enemy of the state. Fuck off. I hope we don’t try him in the UK and instead put him to work at MI5! Despite this bullshit I still love American music, films and fast food (hypocrite alert!!!) and American culture in general! (This is just a rant remember, like when your Republican presidents gone by, talk)!

You know what else I hate, whilst I’m ranting. I hate people who judge fat people. Not just passing judgement such as “Look at that fat person” but idiots who see a fat person eating and say, “My God look at him/her! Stuffing their face with salad and crackerbread no wonder they are 40 stone!” It’s silly. Fat people have to eat too; despite the hulk they are carrying they get hungry like the rest of us and need food. You could be fat and spend only 3 minutes a day eating and someone, somewhere would see you eating and still think, “Look at that, how dare a fat person eat!” It’s crazy shit. I suppose it’s like being an extremely thin diabetic, some random person will always see a stick thin person injecting themselves and think, “Bloody smack head, put down the drugs you’re killing yourself!” It’s a total disregard for facts, knowing nothing but still judging. Fuck off. Fat people need to eat!!! I suppose the only safe option when it comes to being judged is to be a fat smack head because then people are simply judging you like this, “Kebabs gave that man diabetes.”

I also hate work. In any form. No matter what job I have be it good or bad, I hate it. Who came up with this notion of work, of things and possessions and capitalism anyway? It wasn’t me? It seems so crazy. I mean there was a time when all humans just woke up and kinda sat around doing fuck all, then deciding it was time to grab a stick and maybe chase down a creature to eat it but if that is too much effort today don’t worry we can eat green shit that grows in the ground and that aint running anywhere. Grab some of that or maybe some of both (the Sunday lunch is born) meat and veg, sound! Somewhere, someone, or a group of someone’s decided that we needed more than just – eating what was around us, fucking everything without catching HIV (as it hadn’t been invented by some capitalist banker type raping a monkey) and just hanging out watching the sun go down. They decided that collecting shit up in a big pile that was ours was the way forward, then we could barter it with other people who had big piles of shit. Then we got bored with collecting piles of shit so we had to introduce sparkly things. One small sparkly thing was worth twenty piles of shit and a really big sparkly thing was worth 200 piles of shit and then next thing you know people needed to go to work so they could earn and try to save up some teeny tiny bits of sparkly things so they could eventually have tiny piles of shit but aspire for bigger piles of shit too. Well shit! We fucked that up. We had it pretty good for a while, now we have to work hard for ever decreasing amounts of sparkly shit to pay for ever more expensive and tiny piles of shit. Thanks capitalism. And Fuck you!

I aint even started but it’s getting late. Rant over.

If you got this far, thanks for reading.

I feel better.

*deep breath*


(Addition: I refer to America, in my rant, what I should’ve said was American politics and the upper establishment in America. I know for sure that the middle and working classes in America are suffering as much as anyone else and efforts to reform politics in America and ways of thinking about such issues as health care and gun control are met with severe opposition from the ruling classes.)

Black Country Comedy: The Left of the Podium Podcast. Its Free AND Funny!

A lot of my readers are regional, I mean yes I have recently seen in my blog stats the first hit from the “Occupied Palestinian Territories” but generally speaking 80% of my readers are British and more to the point from the West Midlands. It comes with the territory you see, Bilston is the name I took for my blog, it’s a town in the West Midlands and it’s where I was born and bred; and despite its recent history of gun and knife murders I still love the place and am proud to call this violent, working class corner of England my home.

So where is he going with this?’ You might be thinking. Well lucky you I’m about to tell you.

I will always support local talent, especially comedy talent. Comedy is a daily, dietary staple here in the Black Country but I find it very disappointing that we don’t have more comedians from round this way. So when I see a comedian or two that I enjoy I will support them.

So let me introduce to you Dave the Pitt and Rob Kemp, two Black Country comedians. They are currently (when they aren’t doing comedy) broadcasting a podcast called Left of the Podium (or LOTP to the noobs amongst you) via iTunes and their website imaginatively titled Left Of The Podium.

The premise is simple, you ask them a question and they answer it in the next podcast.

So this is the gist of it, you ask them, “What is you’re 4th favourite…”

  • breed of dog
  • death
  • Wolves game of all time
  • Tarantino movie
  • take away food
  • grandparent
  • character in Stephen Kings “Stand By Me”
  • ex-girlfriend
  • job
  • childhood toy
  • news story of 2012
  • LOTP question

And they answer it in a funny and witty way. It’s a very simple idea and yet it’s very effective and a very funny podcast.

So what have we learned people: LOTP is a podcast available here on iTunes. Now I know a lot of my family and friends read my blog as do a lot of Wolves fans and Black Country folk. So please show some support for some talented Black Country guys and subscribe to the podcast, its free for God sake! And if you have a question for them to answer email them or just pester Dave The Pitt on Twitter. I’m pretty sure he gets off on being harassed by strangers, I mean he still speaks to me despite my drunken larking about over there.

Anyway, thank you all for reading, and I know Dave and Rob would say thanks for subscribing to LOTP and/or sending them questions.