I have long been fascinated with space. As a kid I looked up with binoculars and a Tasco Telescope 150×50 at the stars. I had a Rand McNally map of the moon on my wall which was a piece of fucking art, let me tell you. Its an awesome thing to look out at the universe and see the marvels that it has to offer, and yet part of me keeps saying, it has to be like that because without it there is no us and no Earth. We are just a spec that exists because it does, simple. We are a by-product of a cosmic fart that created all energy and matter. Yeah I know, we are nothing more than a bit of shit smelling gas in this metaphor. I think it works.
I’ve had my interest drawn recently towards this Mars One project that is being prepared and planned by those famous space cadets, the Dutch, for its amazing offer of a one way ticket to Mars. No return. No hope of smelling cut grass again or ever seeing a rainbow. No Starbucks or Maccy’s. Twenty minute long connections on phone calls and streaming live football; and only seeing the same three faces for the rest of your time breathing in and out thanks to a pressurised metal can or space suit. ‘Wow, tell me more, sounds fucking splendiculously fantabulous!’
We all know already, before millions of pounds are wasted or even raised that this is not going to happen and if somehow it does it will be a total, devastating and unequalled disaster. Its like the Human Centipede of Space projects, it’ll be shit, pointless and clueless and you’ll feel the need to follow it up with another project, but instead you’ll just send another 4 people to die on Mars, if they don’t kill each other en route (again).
I think the odds of this project ever coming close to being a reality are the same as Wolves winning the Premiership within the same time frame so we already know it’s unlikely to happen and if it does, well, I hope being on Mars forever is as good as walking around Queens Square drunk at 3am after the open topped bus parade.
My initial question to the project managers would be this: Why not go to the moon first?
We’ve already been to the moon. So it’s doable. Yeah, we’ve treated the moon rather badly. We were all over its ass for a brief period of time and yet in the last forty years or so we haven’t so much as called. It must feel used and upset, especially now it’s not as alluring as that bright red planet. Apply a bit more rouge to your cheeks Moon, and then you might have a cat in hells chance of some action.
And yet despite all of these grandiose plans we still haven’t managed to learn to get along on this rock we call home yet. Spending millions or billions or trillions of Euros on a project like this when there are starving people, and cultural, existential threats to humanity seems to me to be arrogant and wasteful and serving of only the egos and fame of the people in charge of such a ludicrous project.
We’d be better off using any spare cash knocking around learning to get along on the ground, pooling our minds and our resources and then having a go at the universe. Let’s face it, if two people can argue over their personal sensibilities, at the drop of a hat, in a confined situation, then it’s likely to fall flat.
Oh yeah, they are planning on streaming the entire project, like Big Brother, so no one will be playing up to the cameras, trying to be famous or trying to be interesting or wanting to cement their place in history.
It sounds like one big winner of a project to me.
Peace (On Earth, the Moon and Mars)