Like a serial killer returning to the scene of his crimes I’m back writing here after being adamant a month or so ago that I wouldn’t. (Well, apart from one drunken Wolves rant slip up in April…)
I’d like to say that I don’t know what happened but I actually do. My dog, Tim, had to be put to sleep on the 16th of March after being my homey and shadow since September 2004.
I understand that losing a pet dog may not mean anything to people who don’t have pets or can’t stand dogs and I know that people would think that a dog is not a person so I should shut up, but I’ve known more than my share of death when it comes to homo sapiens that I’ve known and loved and sometimes it can be the loss of a dog that brings everything to the surface.
The problem with his death was the loss of an innocent soul. He had no agenda, he wasn’t trying to get rich quick, he didn’t envy someone having a new house, car phone or TV. He had his immediate needs that consisted mostly of weeing and/or shitting, eating and a comfy space to flake out then deny the farts he emitted in industrial quantities whilst horizontal on his awakening.
I could moan and groan about my problems for hours and he never judged me or got bored and walked away, he just looked at me with eyes that said, ‘In a minute when he shuts up, I’m going to ask him for some of that shit he’s eating’
He knew the rules, played the game and always made me smile.
He was my partner for every blog post here, and with me every minute of the research and writing on everything else I’ve ever published.
As an old man he was a constant worry. I’ve shot out of work on more than one occasion to make sure he was OK. I guess I’m lucky to have pet loving colleagues.
He cost me an arm and a leg at the vets to treat his thyroid problem, his arthritis and his sticky eyes. I almost miss beans on toast for tea because Tim needed medication, crazy really.
And I could talk about him for hours, but it would be meaningless and without context to a stranger on a blog.
But if you have a dog, have lost a dog or just love dogs you already know what I want to say.
I’d have never thought that a little black terrier could have such a deep impact on my life. But I’m glad for the time we had together and I’m glad I did all I could for him and his ailments of ageing and illness and that he didn’t have to suffer during his life and went peacefully when the final decision had to be made.
If there is one thing I envy him it’s that. Had he been a human and I’d assisted his death I’d be serving life now. What a species we are. The law is more humane to animals than humans.
But that’s a rant for another time.
Tim, eating Maltezers and Pizza just aint the same without you.
Rest In Peace.